A Conversation With A Man In A Very Different Financial Place

I had a fascinating conversation with a neighbor of mine this weekend.  I had been helping him trim some of the bushes and trees around the house and we decided to sit down and take a rest in the shade for a bit.  My neighbor, (We’ll call him John), doesn’t actually own the house.  He is living with his brother’s family in the house due to not being able to afford a place of his own.  John is 70 years old and never went to college.  He is divorced and has a couple grown children and grandchildren.  He has absolutely no savings or investments and is living off a low amount of social security.

Previously John and I have talked about money and he has asked me numerous questions.  This weekend he asked me much more pointed questions wondering how someone that is 45 years old ends up in my situation.  I had previously told him that I always pay cash for my vehicles because I don’t like debt.  He also knows that we own our second home without a mortgage and that I intend to retire around the age of 50.  As we sat in the shade, one of John’s first questions was how I ended up “being a saver”.  I told him that there were a few influences that sent me down the path I’m on.  The first was watching my parents suffer through the stress of struggling to pay the bills.  Our family owned a business when I was a kid and I helped work in the business from the time I was about 11 years old.  I would often go to work with my Dad on Sunday’s and sit behind the counter to keep him company.  By the time I was 12, I was actively helping customers.  I remember when I was about 13 years old.  I was sitting in the back office with my mom as she was paying some of the bills for the business.  I remember the stress in her voice and the concern in her eyes as she stacked bills in the “can pay” and “can’t pay” piles.  I knew that she also had a similar approach for the bills at home.  At 13 years old I remember feeling the stress of how they could pay all those bills.  I swore I never wanted to own my own business or stress about paying the bills when I grew up.  John was nodding his head while I told the story and said that he too grew up in a house with very little.  He still didn’t understand how that sent me on such a quest to try to live the opposite of that.

It was really kind of a surreal conversation because I couldn’t help but think that my future would look similar to Jack’s if we weren’t actively saving and investing for our future.  If anything, it makes me even more motivated to continue on the path we have in front of us.

One comment

  • Interesting article. Thank you for sharing this personal information. I have always said that life philosophies are often not “wrong” and “right” in terms of way of thinking, but rather you can have some people thinking in a way that is “right for them” which may not be right for another person. I have endured A LOT of stress in owning a company. I actually have one of those teeth grinding mouth pieces that I wore at night for awhile to make sure I wasn’t ruining my teeth in my sleep. Your attitude is similar to most of my siblings. They NEVER want to be in a position where a bill may not be paid, and they make sure their life choices reflect that. The most important thing is that you feel fulfilled and happy with your choices.